Random thoughts and God Dots

For my future person 😉❣️

Touching for me,
is a great connection.

I love your touch,
can’t get enough of it

You arouse me,
can’t you see?

But you mean
so much more to me.

Respect you,
I do.
Admiration,
For sure.
Love and connection,
Yep, you betcha,
I’m yours.

But how does this start?
Is it too soon?
False start?

Too good, to be true.
Though he Throws,
the right signals.

Am I catching them wrong?
Confusing,
As we mingle.

Signals get crossed.
For flirtatious,
Is he.

Can I tolerate that.
Once he’s mine to adore.

Or will this, send me,
running for the door.

Take the chance,
could get your heart broke,
Who is that, the one who spoke.

Guilt, has reared,
it’s ugly head.

Let’s start out,
as really good friends.

Connecting Soul to Soul,
And brain to brain.

Then connecting physically,

I’m all about it,
Bring it on,
Teach me, all you’ve got

Intimidating, sexually.
But what he’s looking for
Is more than that.

Soul connection❣️

The rest of it
doesn’t carry over
into heaven.

I give you my all.
Hoping it is enough.

Not like the others,
Who beat me up.

Could you love me?
With kindness, gentleness
and warmth?

If you think so,
Then you can have my heart.

Two world’s

I went from a world where misery was the norm.
Into a world where seeking happiness and being free of pain is their concern.
Neither one, normal for me.

The world of misery is misconceived.

For you see, what you seek.

For in your misery, that you have sought.

There will be pain,

yet happiness there is not.

For they revel in it,

even bragging about their misery.

They seem to seek it out and once there,

sit and explore the misery and pain, they seem to enjoy.

Define (mis·er·y /ˈmiz(ə)rē) noun
a state or feeling of great distress or discomfort of mind or body.
Similar: unhappiness, distress.

Now when seeking happiness and being free from pain.

This creates its own angst for the day.

For happiness may come and visit awhile,

But it’s fickle and won’t go the full mile.

Happiness is fleeting momentary at best,

Great while it lasts,

but life comes at you fast.

Pain, my constant companion,

Couldn’t imagine life without it.

Get rid of pain?!

An impossible task.

One that will last and last and last.

Fighting a battle that’s impossible to win, this could make you go insane.

Pain free and happy?

Not going to happen.

hap·py | \ ˈha-pē \
1: feeling pleasure and enjoyment because of your life, situation, etc.
2: showing or causing feelings of pleasure and enjoyment
3: pleased or glad about a particular situation, event, etc.

Pain has allowed me to grow.

To spite my pain and keep it under control.

Pain is a reminder that I’m not dead.

God is not

finished with me yet.

So manage my pain,

but not go insane.

Enjoy moments of happiness even though they are fleeting.

Misery can teach me, but can be kinda creepy.

Just when I think everyone else has got it figured out.

Then I realize

Jenn’s pretty smart.

Observing the world, through the lens of the Lord.

I’ve got to say you’re doing pretty good,

Not grabbing hold of misery, pain or happiness.

But grabbing hold of God’s
Wisdom, Strength and Contentment.

This is what I crave and seek.

Love God first,

with me next in line.

Loving all,

staying one step behind.

Treat others kind, with love and respect.

Don’t care what the world thinks,

For God is my King.

The world’s falling apart, and doesn’t know a thing.

So, weird I may seem to the world at large.

Some are intrigued by my life scars.

Sharing my story and experiences with many.

Teaching and learning, till I’m filled up plenty.

Jenn the fair ❣️

Thankful 11/25/2021

I’m thankful Lord
For the breaths You give me.

For the wonderful fact.
That You,
live in me.

For every day,
a new chance to serve You.

Paying You back,
By loving others.

Not always easy,
Yet quite a task.

Lord, give me strength,
that I might last.

Thankful for God,
Lord, Love me well.

Hold me tight,
Making all things
Right❣️

Jen the fair

My Knight will come❣️

He’s not the one,
The one I want.

The Dangling carrot,
Was all he was.

Fell in my lap,
Like all the rest.

But God, I did it.
I passed the test.

Thought it might be You.
The one who spoke.

But, Nope! It wasn’t
The Lord who spoke.

Temptation and chaos,
They had the rope.

That carrot dangles
And yep, it looked good.

But authentic it wasn’t.
He’s a dud, for sure.

Seek You first, is what You said.
Yet trying to take shortcuts, all the time instead.

Be more private and to yourself,
don’t bare all, for there’s not much to tell.

A life lacking drama is what I seek.
Yet boredom creeps and creeps and creeps.

Stay busy with Good, not obsessive thoughts.
Once that happens, God’s plan Will start..

Not controlling and judgemental, like the one before.
And not vigilant or Pius like the dangling carrot.

My Knight will come, I know he will.
Because I know Lord,
It is Your Will.

This is how I thrive❣️

Never thought I’d get the nerve
to move on
without him in tow.

But I did,
I’m so proud of me,
now that
I’m the one
leading.

But I’m not used to leading.
I have to figure out
this new position.

I’ll take the lead
but not really.

God leading the way
with me in tow,
that’s the way
it’s going to go.

Watching My Father,
so I get it Right,
One step at a time,
Just one step behind.

Me, myself and I⁉️
This is how I die.

God, myself and life,
this is how I thrive❣️

Hummingbird

Hummingbird.

Don’t make fun of me cuz I’m small.
I’ll find ways to make me tall.

High upon the pines I sit.
Not much bigger

than a tit.

Make fun of me,
can’t you see?
I’m unique in
Special ways.

Like a rainbow 🌈 exposed by The Light.
All the colors, shining bright.

Not going to be phased,
Going to do things Right.

Love everyone, and
shine God’s Light.

So hummingbird,
I see you shine.
Sitting up upon the pines.

Thanks for visiting,
Now you are gone.

Go shine your shine upon
Another, someone.

It’s Kinda lonely in my cocoon

No one knows me,
but me.

So where does this leave me?

Is this just the way it’s supposed to be?

Maybe🤷‍♀️?

It’s Kinda lonely in my cocoon,

Comfort and sanity

in my new life.
Yep I think

I’ve got it right.

Yet….
It’s Kinda lonely in my cocoon,

Peace and tranquility reign over me,
both parts of God now let me be.

But….
It’s Kinda lonely in my cocoon,

My cocoon is split right open,
A butterfly, the world’s my oyster.

And….
It’s Kinda lonely in my cocoon,

WAIT A SECOND

I’m a butterfly,
no more cocoon,
connect Jenn the Fair
with someone new.

Goodbye for now,
I must fly away,
enjoy my life,
before it’s gone❣️

Obsessive thoughts❣️

Randomness

Lord,

What will tomorrow bring?

Will it bring the rains?

And will there be pain?

Will it leave a strain?

Straining,

To see the future.

I betcha, it’s gonna be,

Super Duper!

This rhyme’s gotta stop.

Getting stopped by the clock.

Not enough time,

robbed of my life,

right in my prime.

When will I be home?

How are things going to be better for tomorrow?

If we don’t start fixing things today?

This is so random.

Now it’s time to abandon,

This rhyme.

That has gotten away from me.

Bye bye for now God bless and keep you.

Till we meet in God’s Sheep hold.

In God’s Lap

The clouds have lifted,
They’re almost gone.
Not in a fog, I got it wrong.

Back in God’s Lap,
Cradled and Secure.
Lost focus for a sec,
Now rested and re-assured.

Had to find out,
Can’t do it on my own.

But …With God, ALL things
are possible.

The further I wander
from this rest,
the more restless I become.
No wandering! Just stay put.
With God, my life is all tied up.
Secure and All
But I stumble and fall.
God picks me up,
High upon the waves.
Makes me strong
and
makes me brave.
Clouds have cleared.
Now I can see.
Through The Eyes
of The One Who
Created me..

Otherwise
the world is gloomy
Kind of grey and kind of stormy.

I praise YOU Lord,
For patiently waiting
for my return to Your Naval.

In God’s Lap,
That’s where I’ll be.
Getting All the Rest that I need.